When I started this blog, I
wanted to be honest. 100% honest.
Lying to readers is only lying to
ourselves.
So I’m not going to sugar coat
this post. I’m not going to bend the truth so that it says what I want it to
say but instead of what it should say.
I also want to be clear and state
that this post is not a request for people to leave comments that will boost my
morale and tell me it will be okay.
It just is what it is.
It’s where I am on my current
writing project.
STUCK IN A RUT
I’m still editing/rewriting CHRIS AND MIKE vs THE RISING DEAD, and
I’m still enjoying it.
But it’s clear that I’m stuck.
I’ve had quite a bit of success
since my last post
when it comes to fixes and amendments (another character has been ‘killed off’,
a psychiatrist become a mother became a psychiatrist, Mike now isn’t made
redundant, and an ‘off-screen’ character now has an important role in the final
act), but it seems that when I make one change to improve the story, it breaks
three other things around it.
And it’s getting frustrating.
I really wanted to give my
villain his own story, his own journey, but things keep getting tangled up with
the protagonist. It sounds odd, but I can’t seem to get my villain on his own.
Some of this is down to the timeline of the story (how can he be here, and then,
just minutes later, be there).
One solution has been to drop his
chapters, to only tell the story only from the protagonist’s POV. But I’m not
sure how I’ll get any of the villain’s story across if I do that, other than a
monologue.
And nobody wants a monologue.
LAYING IT OUT THERE
I have to say, the spreadsheet is
sort of helping. These are issues and fixes I don’t think I would have come up
with had I not listed it the way I now have. And while it hasn’t helped me fix everything
(yet), I wouldn’t be surprised if I use it, or something like it, on all
writing projects going forward.
I can’t remember how I discovered
it (Joanna Penn tweeted the link
a while ago) but it’s something that’s obvious now, and I can’t believe I
didn’t consider previously.
(WARNING – The below image contains spoilers and has been
reduced to obscure text)
Quite simply it’s a list of
chapters (column A), a summary of each chapter (column B), the scene locations
(column C), and then a mark to show which characters are in the scene.
For the summary column, I’ve
marked in grey any chapter that DOES NOT contain the protagonist, in
this case MIKE TRUANT.
This way of looking at it has
helped with the pacing, though as I mentioned earlier, I’ve having trouble comfortably
placing the villain of the peace.
EVASION
Now, while all this sounds like
things are ticking over, the truth is that the above image hasn’t changed too
much in the last three weeks. Sure I had an awesome epiphany last week that
finally uncovered the theme I was missing, but I feel stalled now. I had
several days of chopping and changing and it left me scared to continue, almost
like the only way forward now was to step out onto the thin ice.
So I’ve been . . .
procrastinating.
“Booooo,”
I hear you say. “Procrastination
is the enemy of the writer, a foot soldier working for the Demons of
Distraction.”
I know, I know. Believe me, I
know. But these things happen. I got stuck, I hit a wall, and turned to the
things that make me happy.
So I’ve been playing more on the
Xbox, I’ve been reading in my work lunch breaks instead of working on CHRIS AND
MIKE (finished AXIS
OF ARRON, started REVIVAL). I’ve
even stopped taking my notebook into work.
And now that I’m writing this
down, now that I’m putting it out there, it makes me sick. Because damn it, I
want to write a book and release it this year. I don’t want folders and thumb drives
full of beginnings without endings. I keep pining for that end result and then
getting scared of doing the hard work in the middle. You know, actually
writing.
This is me, kicking myself up the
butt, hoping that it’s thirty seventh time lucky, hoping that I can follow in
the footsteps of my fellow writing buddies (Craig, Emily, Tamara, and Margaret are my current idols).
I apologise now if this isn’t the
last time.
ROUNDUP
Rant over. I feel better. I think
this post is more for me than anyone else. There’s a calm now and I’m ready,
once again, to get on with what I want to do.
I apologise for using this
platform to moan to myself about myself. Maybe if you’re going through similar
things then it may show you that that’s okay, while those that have already published
may be looking back and remembering their own weak moments.
A lot of people want to be a
writer.
Few people do something about it.
Hardly any succeed.
But the only person stopping you
from writing is . . . (all together now) . . . you.
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