AH – 12th October 2014
THE TALE OF TIMOTHY ITCH
One cold October night Wynona Itch gave birth to a pumpkin.
She did not make it to the hospital in time so instead of a bed she lay on a bright red booth in a road side café and instead of a nurse as her medical assistant she had Brenda the waitress.
Wynona was strong, both of body and mind, but the ordeal was too much. Before she passed she made Brenda promise to take care of her child.
“Child?” proclaimed Brenda. “Your offspring is fit only for Jack-o’-lanterns or pies. There is no infant to care for.”
But Wynona Itch looked Brenda in the eye and made her promise with her dying breath. “You must take care of my son Timothy.”
And everyone knows you can’t refuse a promise like that.
So Brenda the waitress took Timothy the pumpkin home. Her husband was confused and told her she was crazy but she explained it had been the woman’s dying wish and God would frown upon her if she ignored it. Brenda looked after the vegetable as if it was her own child; reading to it, rocking it and tucking it in for bed.
Autumn turned to winter and winter turned to spring. Brenda the waitress began to take the pumpkin to work with her where it would sit on the counter so she could keep an eye on it. Of course Brenda did have to put a sign up that read NOT FOR CONSUMPTION but people in the town soon learned.
The pumpkin began to take its toll on the couple and Brenda’s husband threatened to leave. In fact his packed suitcase was at the bottom of the stairs one night when they both heard a thud from Timothy’s room.
Brenda ran upstairs fearing the worst. When her husband finally joined her at the door to the bedroom his tears joined hers. The pumpkin had fallen from its bed and split into a hundred pieces that lay scattered upon the floor.
In the centre of the mess was a beautiful baby boy who wanted nothing more than love.
And that’s exactly what Timothy got.